I sit here at the computer reminiscing about days gone by, as I so often do these days. Thinking back to my childhood. Hot lazy summer days mixed in with a game of baseball, riding bikes, climbing the rocks, or a blanket under a tree. Radio blaring for all the neighbors to hear. An ice cold Mountain Dew......
The thought never crossed my mind that someday we would all go our separate ways and all of these friends and cousins, would no longer be in my everyday life. After all we were inseparable...we were alive and living life to its fullest..and one day at a time.
And then like a vapor...we are all grown..leaving home..starting families of our own. Moving to different cities and towns, and states and countries. Some going to college..some swearing in to Uncle Sam...and life goes on. We work, we make new friends, we have children watch them grow into adults and begin having children of their own...and then before you know what happened..... AAAAHHHH how sweet! THE GOLDEN YEARS!!! Bah Humbug! That's all I got to say about that!
Then all of a sudden out of the 'blue clear sky' (Forest Gump)..We are introduced to this new computer thing called Facebook. Probably been around for quite a while, I am just not real computer literate..so I am a little slow in catching on to these new fangled ways.
But once I got the hang of it, my search was on....and for the first time in many years, I felt like a kid again. I found cousins...1st, 2nd, and 3rd, cousins... cousins of cousins, and cousins that think they are my cousins... and friends...and more friends, old friends, new friends..People that I haven't seen nor heard from in 40 to 50 years...sad to say. I was and am in a sort of a Heaven. I can read what all of these people do on a daily basis.. I love hearing about their children and grandchildren. I love reading what people had for dinner. I love reading about the weather in whatever city or state you live in. I love seeing pictures of what they all look like now, and what they look like in my memory. Above all it is one of the best prayer chains I have ever seen... If you or someone you love needs prayer.. just post it on Facebook! Even though I know that some people give Facebook/computer a lot of slack.. I have to say that I Thank the Good Lord for such an invention. I love hearing from all of my friends and family. I am so thankful that I am able to keep in contact with those that are dear to my heart.
This past week I have been blessed by finding two 'ole' friends that I played with and hung around with when I was a kid through out my teenage years. Gloria Combs ....and Patricia Huffman. Gloria's father was a minister at the Assembly of God church and lived next door to my mom and dad. We used to hang out together a lot after school and in the summer months...ran all over that little small southeast Missouri town. She was a christian girl, and probably helped to keep me on the straight and narrow in those young years. I will forever be grateful to her for her influence on me. Gloria and I played a lot of baseball with the neighborhood kids. Went to a lot of youth rallies at church.. and we like to camp out in her back yard. HA! Another quilt over the clothesline story. Only her brother scared the begebeeis out of us one night and I don't know if we ever camped out again after that.. a very precious memory!
Patricia, (aka Patty now) I have wondered for years where she was, and what she was doing. If she was well and happy, and hoping and praying that someday our paths would cross again. Pat used to live 2 doors down from my oldest sister, in another small Missouri town. Anytime I went to visit my sister, whether it was for and hour or a week, I would always head over to Pat's house.. my brother in law would sometimes load all of us kids up in the car and take us swimming to a creek outside of town. Probably about 10 kids, no seat belts, no life jackets, no sunscreen! Just plain ole summer fun. The one real memory I have of Pat and me is laying on a blanket under a tree in her front yard. Radio blaring to the tune of 'Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, I Got Love in my Tummy". Talking about what young fellow we thought was cute and who we wanted to marry someday. I am so very thankful to finally find her again. The irony in it is that she now lives right outside of my home town. The world is so large, yet so small. I am thinking a reunion will be in the near future!
From the very first day I became a Facebook member I began my search for these two women. Literally several times a month I would type in their names and hope I would get a lead... it finally came.. through other peoples pages... that led me to them... I know that some may think I am too nostalgic, too sentimental, too emotional, but I don't care. I will forever be grateful that I have reconnected with these two and so many others. I just wish I could have a huge reunion and have all of my 'friends' show up! Wouldn't that be a hoot!
I know this is not really a story.. but just my thoughts.. but something I just wanted to share.. so to all that read this.. family, friends, old and new... I love you and I am glad that we are friends!
Friday, July 6, 2012
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Moody and Me.........."The Hidden Treasure"
In the top chest of drawers in my mom and dad's bedroom lies a hidden treasure. I don't really know how long it has been there, but I am thinking for a very long time. My cousin, Moody, and I discovered it by accident. We were putting away some laundry when we found it. We were not looking for it, or any treasure at all for that matter. But there it was, hidden deep, buried beneath a mountain of underwear, socks, and handkerchiefs. I remember that it was cool to the touch. Not large, not small, kind of skinny and tall, and it sure did peak our curiosity! We HAD to investigate a little farther. We HAD to see what it was!! With my sweaty nervous hands wrapped around the coolness, I brought it up through the maze and it glittered and sparkled like a precious gem in the bright sunlight! The prettiest amber color you have ever seen! Our eyes widened at the sight, as we looked at each other a HUGE smile lit both of our lips. Well, well, well, YEP! this should be fun! Low and behold, we had found my dad's stash!! His golden treasure! His hidden bottle of PEACH BRANDY!!!!!!!
O.k. I feel the need to explain myself here. LOLOLOLOL Any of you that really know me, know that I am not a drinker nor have ever been. But there is just something about being a teenager that just makes one do things that they know they shouldn't....this just happens to be one of those things! Seems like Moody and I were kind of always finding ourselves in this situation. Don't know if I influenced her or she me, which ever it was, we were a pair, joined at the hip in those days, and once again, here we were......
So as the story goes..... Moody and I looked that bottle up and down, and I say,"HUMMMM, You go first"...she did! She was a very good bluff, because she says back to me ..."It's not too bad." O.k. my turn, and I take a big gulp........... HHHoooLLLLyyy CrAAAAp!.... I am thinking now that I probably said worse! LOL But you know how teens are, we couldn't let this golden opportunity pass by, that's when we came up with the idea of mixing it with something to take the 'sting' away! Surely that would be better than drinking it raw from the bottle. So, we open the refrigerator to see what could be a possibility, and the only thing we found was some Wagoner Orange Juice and some Real-O Lemon juice. This was gonna be good!..... We used these little orange juice glasses that mom had, (you know the ones you used to get out of washing powder? Had silvery gray leaves on them?).. They made great shot glasses! LOL 1/2 orange juice, almost 1/2 peach brandy and dab of lemon juice!... OH MY!! Talking about nasty!!! Made the eyes water and the throat burn as well. But I guess it was the excitement of doing it that kept us making them. Don't know how many of these we forced down, but everything was beginning to get really funny! We kept sampling the bottle and acting stupid and feeling very giddy at the thought of just what we were doing, until the bottle was about half gone, maybe a little more...... Then as usual.. it was reality time! What are we gonna do now? We are dead meat when dad finds this! Now that was a VERY sobering thought! See, I was an angel, you know, I would have never done anything like that! HA! The only thought then in my mind was...'Dad is gonna beat me to death.' Well, we couldn't put it back in the drawer less than half full.... so our minds start racing and all of a sudden we come up with a wonderful idea!!............
My brother was living back at home with us for a while. He hadn't been home from Viet Nam very long, and anyone that knew him back then knows that sometimes he would drown his sorrow's in his liquor... WWWEEELLLLLLLLLL Moody and I had the grandest idea, we would just add some water to the bottle and bury it back in the drawer and when dad saw it, he would just think that my brother had been having a drink from it!... Perfect! (we didn't think about the water weakening the brandy, or changing the color of it.)
Fast forward a couple of days.. It is the weekend and dad decides he needs a drink of his peach brandy. He opens his drawer and finds the amber colored bottle and takes him a big gulp! Moody and I are in the bedroom and all of a sudden we hear him going into a cussing fit! Went something like this:
"*****Dammit boy, if you want a drink out of my bottle then just get a drink, you don't have to sneak around and then fill it back up with water".....
My brother- "I didn't drink your damn brandy and I didn't put no water in it"....
Dad- "don't tell me you didn't put water in it, I know what it is suppose to taste like"....
brother- I am telling you I haven't touched your bottle..........
And so it went, back and forth, neither one of them could convince the other that they were both right. Moody and I are laying on the bed and burying our heads in the pillows because we were laughing so hard it hurt! Each time one of them would say something we would laugh a little harder. We finally straightened up enough that we made it out the front door and over to the school ground across the street from my house, and just laid out in the grass and laughed till we cried! IT WORKED!!! Hallelujah it worked!! We made a faithful promise to God Almighty that we would never do that again! Yeah Right! We did......just not to the extreme to where we had to add water to it to hide the evidence.
As I have became an adult.. it just baffles me that neither dad, mom, nor my bother ever had the thought that it could have been us girls as the culprits! We were both basically good kids, despite all of these stories I have told you in the past, LOLOL, and I guess it just didn't enter their minds that we would do such a thing.
Moody nor I have ever forgotten about the hidden treasure that we found in my dad's top dresser drawer. Anytime we are together we still, to this day, have a good laugh over it. Such precious memory's! I would do it all over again today if I could. The fun, the laughter, the innocence, the braveness, no worries about life beyond 'what are we gonna do now.'
As I bring the saga of 'Moody and Me' to a close, I know that there are several more stories that I could add. Maybe someday I will. We shared so much together as kids....Barbie dolls, umbrellas, bicycle rides back to the woods, double dates, boyfriends... and the list goes on and on... I think I could write from now till forever and not cover all of the fun times we had together. I wish that all kids could have a special cousin or friend to share their childhood with, as I did. I hope that someday she has a chance to read all of my stories, and that she knows how much she means to me. We don't get to see each other very often anymore, but she still lives very close to my heart. Reminds me of a song I once heard many years ago. The chorus goes something like this:
I owe you so much my dear friend,
for all of those treasured times.
For you've made me a better person,
Thanks, for being in my life!
From my heart to yours!................................................
O.k. I feel the need to explain myself here. LOLOLOLOL Any of you that really know me, know that I am not a drinker nor have ever been. But there is just something about being a teenager that just makes one do things that they know they shouldn't....this just happens to be one of those things! Seems like Moody and I were kind of always finding ourselves in this situation. Don't know if I influenced her or she me, which ever it was, we were a pair, joined at the hip in those days, and once again, here we were......
So as the story goes..... Moody and I looked that bottle up and down, and I say,"HUMMMM, You go first"...she did! She was a very good bluff, because she says back to me ..."It's not too bad." O.k. my turn, and I take a big gulp........... HHHoooLLLLyyy CrAAAAp!.... I am thinking now that I probably said worse! LOL But you know how teens are, we couldn't let this golden opportunity pass by, that's when we came up with the idea of mixing it with something to take the 'sting' away! Surely that would be better than drinking it raw from the bottle. So, we open the refrigerator to see what could be a possibility, and the only thing we found was some Wagoner Orange Juice and some Real-O Lemon juice. This was gonna be good!..... We used these little orange juice glasses that mom had, (you know the ones you used to get out of washing powder? Had silvery gray leaves on them?).. They made great shot glasses! LOL 1/2 orange juice, almost 1/2 peach brandy and dab of lemon juice!... OH MY!! Talking about nasty!!! Made the eyes water and the throat burn as well. But I guess it was the excitement of doing it that kept us making them. Don't know how many of these we forced down, but everything was beginning to get really funny! We kept sampling the bottle and acting stupid and feeling very giddy at the thought of just what we were doing, until the bottle was about half gone, maybe a little more...... Then as usual.. it was reality time! What are we gonna do now? We are dead meat when dad finds this! Now that was a VERY sobering thought! See, I was an angel, you know, I would have never done anything like that! HA! The only thought then in my mind was...'Dad is gonna beat me to death.' Well, we couldn't put it back in the drawer less than half full.... so our minds start racing and all of a sudden we come up with a wonderful idea!!............
My brother was living back at home with us for a while. He hadn't been home from Viet Nam very long, and anyone that knew him back then knows that sometimes he would drown his sorrow's in his liquor... WWWEEELLLLLLLLLL Moody and I had the grandest idea, we would just add some water to the bottle and bury it back in the drawer and when dad saw it, he would just think that my brother had been having a drink from it!... Perfect! (we didn't think about the water weakening the brandy, or changing the color of it.)
Fast forward a couple of days.. It is the weekend and dad decides he needs a drink of his peach brandy. He opens his drawer and finds the amber colored bottle and takes him a big gulp! Moody and I are in the bedroom and all of a sudden we hear him going into a cussing fit! Went something like this:
"*****Dammit boy, if you want a drink out of my bottle then just get a drink, you don't have to sneak around and then fill it back up with water".....
My brother- "I didn't drink your damn brandy and I didn't put no water in it"....
Dad- "don't tell me you didn't put water in it, I know what it is suppose to taste like"....
brother- I am telling you I haven't touched your bottle..........
And so it went, back and forth, neither one of them could convince the other that they were both right. Moody and I are laying on the bed and burying our heads in the pillows because we were laughing so hard it hurt! Each time one of them would say something we would laugh a little harder. We finally straightened up enough that we made it out the front door and over to the school ground across the street from my house, and just laid out in the grass and laughed till we cried! IT WORKED!!! Hallelujah it worked!! We made a faithful promise to God Almighty that we would never do that again! Yeah Right! We did......just not to the extreme to where we had to add water to it to hide the evidence.
As I have became an adult.. it just baffles me that neither dad, mom, nor my bother ever had the thought that it could have been us girls as the culprits! We were both basically good kids, despite all of these stories I have told you in the past, LOLOL, and I guess it just didn't enter their minds that we would do such a thing.
Moody nor I have ever forgotten about the hidden treasure that we found in my dad's top dresser drawer. Anytime we are together we still, to this day, have a good laugh over it. Such precious memory's! I would do it all over again today if I could. The fun, the laughter, the innocence, the braveness, no worries about life beyond 'what are we gonna do now.'
As I bring the saga of 'Moody and Me' to a close, I know that there are several more stories that I could add. Maybe someday I will. We shared so much together as kids....Barbie dolls, umbrellas, bicycle rides back to the woods, double dates, boyfriends... and the list goes on and on... I think I could write from now till forever and not cover all of the fun times we had together. I wish that all kids could have a special cousin or friend to share their childhood with, as I did. I hope that someday she has a chance to read all of my stories, and that she knows how much she means to me. We don't get to see each other very often anymore, but she still lives very close to my heart. Reminds me of a song I once heard many years ago. The chorus goes something like this:
I owe you so much my dear friend,
for all of those treasured times.
For you've made me a better person,
Thanks, for being in my life!
From my heart to yours!................................................
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Moody and Me.........Cake on the Ceiling
As always, something I say, do, hear, or see, triggers a precious memory of my childhood. A couple weeks ago my grand children came to spend the night with us and this time it was my grandson, Aidan, acting silly,(in which he is famous for) when he said..."I want cake! I want cake! Lets bake a cake!" I was in the middle of making taco's for supper, and immediately my mind hurled back once again to a hot summer day in the late 1960's.
If you have read any of my previous stories in the 'Moody and Me' saga, then you know how we always spent those precious summer months at each others house. This particular time it was her turn to be at my house.
Mom and dad were at work so that left two teenage girls, unsupervised, with way too much time on their hands. My mom worked a swing shift at the local nursing home, and this was her week to work 'mornings'. It was also house cleaning day for Moody and me. It was my job in the summer months to keep the house clean while Mom worked.....Sooooo with the old box radio tuned in to KDEX, and 'Joy to the World' blaring as loud as possible we started our daily housecleaning chores. Now with music like that playing, making beds, sweeping, dusting, and mopping the floors was a breeze. We soon had the whole house gleaming and smelling like Pine Sol and lemon wax. We had worked really hard and Mom was going to be proud of our efforts for sure...
With the house work behind us, it was time to laze around for a couple hours, as most teens do. I suppose a hunger pain struck when one of us made mention of "sure wish we had something sweet to eat". When the other says.."I know, lets bake a cake!" (Since this was like 45 years ago, I am assuming that we were making a homemade cake, and NOT a cake mix in a box.) Moody might can tell you more of the details than I. I don't remember if it was white,yellow, or chocolate, never the less, we started out with a very serious attempt to bake this cake.
Everything was going great in our cake making adventure, until.........wheather it was a flick of the wrist with a batter drenched spatula, or one of us brought the mixer beaters up to fast, but all of a sudden we were both sprayed with cake batter.............and.........THE FIGHT WAS ON!!!!!!!!!! Not a real fight of course, but a cake batter fight! We started out flicking it at each other and before long we were throwing that stuff with spoons, spatulas, mixer beaters, and handfuls. Jumping, running, dodging and not giving a second thought as to just where it all was landing. Laughing and screaming like two real idiots, chasing each other throughout the house and even out the front door, all while the radio was still blaring as loud as possible. I am sure that anyone that happened to be walking down the sidewalk in front of the house, thought that we had lost our minds.
After we had demolished the whole bowl of batter, and our laughter began to subside somewhat, reality then set in...............I will never forget the first words out of her mouth..........'HHHOOOLLLYYY SSS*****TTTT'..........Still makes me laugh today to remember the look on her face and the colorful obscenities!! MY first thought of course was, 'Mom is gonna kill us both'. We both looked at each other, did a very quick 360, and then at the clock at the exact same time. Our minds racing trying to figure out just how much time we had to clean the mess up before Mom walked in the door. I don't remember the exact amount, but lets just say that we had to work like two speed demons to get it all cleaned up with not a minute to spare.
In walks my Mom, all hot, tired and red faced from a hard days work, and here we sat like two little precious angels with the house smelling from the stench of pine sol (AGAIN) so fresh and potent, and swet dripping from our brow. She sang our praise for what a wonderful job we had done with the house cleaning and how very much she appreciated our efforts. All the while we were trying our darnedest to keep straight faces. Then one of us looked up! Huge eyeballs! Big gulp! There on the ceiling of the kitchen was a big glob of cake batter. Getting ready to make its debut! And that wasn't counting all of the little splats we seen! WE LOST IT AGAIN, Laughter overwhelmed us! Out the front door we went in a hysterical fit. Mom just thought we were two very silly teenage girls. We had to catch mom in the bathroom or outside before we could hop up in a chair and clean the ceiling off, before she seen it too!
I really don't remember if we ever got that cake baked or not. If we did, we were probably more careful, but one thing I am sure of, we were laughing all the while we made it. ........
OH MY! what a precious memory! I don't bake cakes very often anymore. My husband loves cake but he is a diabetic, and not suppose to eat much sweets. But I can tell you this, that when I do bake one, the thought of 'cake on the ceiling' always crosses my mind and puts a smile on my face. So to my Moody I say, 'It was one of the most fun filled times that we ever had together.' One that is etched in my memory forever.... Soooo Have a piece a cake, and think about me, as I will you, Always!......
If you have read any of my previous stories in the 'Moody and Me' saga, then you know how we always spent those precious summer months at each others house. This particular time it was her turn to be at my house.
Mom and dad were at work so that left two teenage girls, unsupervised, with way too much time on their hands. My mom worked a swing shift at the local nursing home, and this was her week to work 'mornings'. It was also house cleaning day for Moody and me. It was my job in the summer months to keep the house clean while Mom worked.....Sooooo with the old box radio tuned in to KDEX, and 'Joy to the World' blaring as loud as possible we started our daily housecleaning chores. Now with music like that playing, making beds, sweeping, dusting, and mopping the floors was a breeze. We soon had the whole house gleaming and smelling like Pine Sol and lemon wax. We had worked really hard and Mom was going to be proud of our efforts for sure...
With the house work behind us, it was time to laze around for a couple hours, as most teens do. I suppose a hunger pain struck when one of us made mention of "sure wish we had something sweet to eat". When the other says.."I know, lets bake a cake!" (Since this was like 45 years ago, I am assuming that we were making a homemade cake, and NOT a cake mix in a box.) Moody might can tell you more of the details than I. I don't remember if it was white,yellow, or chocolate, never the less, we started out with a very serious attempt to bake this cake.
Everything was going great in our cake making adventure, until.........wheather it was a flick of the wrist with a batter drenched spatula, or one of us brought the mixer beaters up to fast, but all of a sudden we were both sprayed with cake batter.............and.........THE FIGHT WAS ON!!!!!!!!!! Not a real fight of course, but a cake batter fight! We started out flicking it at each other and before long we were throwing that stuff with spoons, spatulas, mixer beaters, and handfuls. Jumping, running, dodging and not giving a second thought as to just where it all was landing. Laughing and screaming like two real idiots, chasing each other throughout the house and even out the front door, all while the radio was still blaring as loud as possible. I am sure that anyone that happened to be walking down the sidewalk in front of the house, thought that we had lost our minds.
After we had demolished the whole bowl of batter, and our laughter began to subside somewhat, reality then set in...............I will never forget the first words out of her mouth..........'HHHOOOLLLYYY SSS*****TTTT'..........Still makes me laugh today to remember the look on her face and the colorful obscenities!! MY first thought of course was, 'Mom is gonna kill us both'. We both looked at each other, did a very quick 360, and then at the clock at the exact same time. Our minds racing trying to figure out just how much time we had to clean the mess up before Mom walked in the door. I don't remember the exact amount, but lets just say that we had to work like two speed demons to get it all cleaned up with not a minute to spare.
In walks my Mom, all hot, tired and red faced from a hard days work, and here we sat like two little precious angels with the house smelling from the stench of pine sol (AGAIN) so fresh and potent, and swet dripping from our brow. She sang our praise for what a wonderful job we had done with the house cleaning and how very much she appreciated our efforts. All the while we were trying our darnedest to keep straight faces. Then one of us looked up! Huge eyeballs! Big gulp! There on the ceiling of the kitchen was a big glob of cake batter. Getting ready to make its debut! And that wasn't counting all of the little splats we seen! WE LOST IT AGAIN, Laughter overwhelmed us! Out the front door we went in a hysterical fit. Mom just thought we were two very silly teenage girls. We had to catch mom in the bathroom or outside before we could hop up in a chair and clean the ceiling off, before she seen it too!
I really don't remember if we ever got that cake baked or not. If we did, we were probably more careful, but one thing I am sure of, we were laughing all the while we made it. ........
OH MY! what a precious memory! I don't bake cakes very often anymore. My husband loves cake but he is a diabetic, and not suppose to eat much sweets. But I can tell you this, that when I do bake one, the thought of 'cake on the ceiling' always crosses my mind and puts a smile on my face. So to my Moody I say, 'It was one of the most fun filled times that we ever had together.' One that is etched in my memory forever.... Soooo Have a piece a cake, and think about me, as I will you, Always!......
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Moody and Me..............."Just a Swingin"
We, Moody and I were about 12 years old, and at the age where kids like to experiment with all sorts of things that their parents don't know about. I have often wondered why kids do things when they know if they get caught, it isn't going to be pretty. Maybe it is rebellion to a certain degree, maybe just the thrill of knowing you have defied your parents. Maybe a 'dare' 'double dare' type of thing. I suppose that most all of us have had this little honory streak in us at one time or another, nevertheless, in the summer of 1965, I found myself faced with one of these decisions, and I confess, I chose honory.....................................
My mom and dad had leased the old Bell City Pool Hall/Cafe and they both worked very long hours. Sometimes, more often than not, I was what I would call 'less than supervised.' I just kind of wondered around and took care of myself, especially in the summer months when school was out. Although I was normally a good kid, somewhere along the way I decided that I needed a new form of entertainment. So nothing due but I try my hand at smoking cigarettes. I don't know how the idea got into my head. Maybe from watching all of the teens coming in the cafe and seeing them smoke. After all my dad smoked. My brothers smoked. My sister in laws smoked. Some of my aunts and uncles smoked. My cousins smoked....... well, you get the picture. Or maybe I just wanted to feel grown up like all of those teenagers I would see doing it........Never the less, there was a special spot underneath the cash register where mom and dad kept all of the tobacco inventory. It was open and easy to get to, so I had no trouble at all catching mom in the kitchen and 'sneaking' a pack or two of my favorite brands. I think through those summer months that I tried every kind they made at one time or another. I got really good at it too, with sneaking them out, and puffing. It got to where it didn't even make me sick anymore.
Thus enters my dear cousin, Moody.................. Now, I had to teach Moody all about cigarette smoking. I think she was quite the rookie. I am thinking that she was a little intimidated at first, but it wasn't long until she could puff with the best of them. I also had to teach her how to sneak in and catch the parents not looking and swipe a pack or two from underneath the counter. We would grab and run!!!! And laugh all the way to one of our favorite places which was on top of Brown's Hill. Talking about privacy!! We could be sheltered behind a couple of big rocks and not one soul would know that we were there...we didn't think about all of the smoke floating around in the air. I am pretty sure that I remember Mr. B. Rust running us off of that hill a time or two.
Another one of our favorite places to 'hide' and smoke was behind the cafe. The Shell station, a thriving business at the time, had four really, really big gas tanks behind the cafe building.. There was this little shed that held four long thick hoses, probably 4 or 6 inches thick, with a nozzle at the end. The two Mr Trophs would drive their gas trucks over and fill them up out of these large tanks. It didn't take Moody and I long to discover that these hoses made great swings. We would literally sit on the hoses, 8 or 10 feet in the air and swing, swing, swing. So that became our next favorite smoking spot............OH YES!! IT WAS!!! Looking back, I am sure that there was a band of angels that kept their hands over the two of us.. It is a wonder we didn't blow up the whole town!! I guarantee you, being kids, we were not careful with it either....never gave it a second thought. I have no idea how many times we would sit up on those hoses for hours and smoke, laugh, and swing. I can assure you this, if my dad would have caught us, I probably would not be sitting here writing this story. I am quite sure I would have had the same result if either one of the Mr Trophs would have caught us too.
Our smoking adventures continued for the next few years. When we were at her house we would sneak out to the old outhouse and light one up. Thinking we were hid of course, not realizing again that our smoke was escaping right through the big cracks in the walls.. I remember that Moody's sister caught us one time. She seen the smoke escaping from the cracks and sneaked up on us. We had to beg her and promise that we would NEVER do it again if she would only have mercy on us and not tell her mom and dad....... WE LIED!!! We smoked every time we got the chance. We would ride the bicycles down to the hog pen back in the woods and sit on the fence and blow our smoke...... AWWWWW SWEET SMELL, cigarette smoke and hog manure!!!!!!! Later years when mom and dad didn't have the cafe any longer, we would throw our nickels and dimes together and try to get enough money to buy us a pack. If that wasn't feasible, then we would look around the house and dig 'butts' out of the ashtrays where my dad had smoked previously...YES WE DID!! Now that is pretty dang GROSS!!! And so it went until somewhere along the way it wasn't much fun anymore...I never continued with the habit in my adult years, don't know if she did or not. But we sure had a lot of fun experimenting with it.
I know that some of you are asking,"why in the world would smoking be such a precious memory." I really don't know, other than it was time spent with my best friend. A time when, once again, we were young and carefree, with not a worry in the world (other than getting caught of course.) When life was an adventure, and everything we did was a laugh. Not just a laugh, but a 'laugh till you hurt' kind of laugh. As I reminisce back on it, I can still see us sitting there on our swings, she facing one way, and me the other. That way we had each other's back, just in case someone came around the corner and surprised us. But most of all it was just another summer day when two cousins shared another bond and a promise of 'cross your heart until you die' secret that no one could ever drag from our lips......................................................................................
My mom and dad had leased the old Bell City Pool Hall/Cafe and they both worked very long hours. Sometimes, more often than not, I was what I would call 'less than supervised.' I just kind of wondered around and took care of myself, especially in the summer months when school was out. Although I was normally a good kid, somewhere along the way I decided that I needed a new form of entertainment. So nothing due but I try my hand at smoking cigarettes. I don't know how the idea got into my head. Maybe from watching all of the teens coming in the cafe and seeing them smoke. After all my dad smoked. My brothers smoked. My sister in laws smoked. Some of my aunts and uncles smoked. My cousins smoked....... well, you get the picture. Or maybe I just wanted to feel grown up like all of those teenagers I would see doing it........Never the less, there was a special spot underneath the cash register where mom and dad kept all of the tobacco inventory. It was open and easy to get to, so I had no trouble at all catching mom in the kitchen and 'sneaking' a pack or two of my favorite brands. I think through those summer months that I tried every kind they made at one time or another. I got really good at it too, with sneaking them out, and puffing. It got to where it didn't even make me sick anymore.
Thus enters my dear cousin, Moody.................. Now, I had to teach Moody all about cigarette smoking. I think she was quite the rookie. I am thinking that she was a little intimidated at first, but it wasn't long until she could puff with the best of them. I also had to teach her how to sneak in and catch the parents not looking and swipe a pack or two from underneath the counter. We would grab and run!!!! And laugh all the way to one of our favorite places which was on top of Brown's Hill. Talking about privacy!! We could be sheltered behind a couple of big rocks and not one soul would know that we were there...we didn't think about all of the smoke floating around in the air. I am pretty sure that I remember Mr. B. Rust running us off of that hill a time or two.
Another one of our favorite places to 'hide' and smoke was behind the cafe. The Shell station, a thriving business at the time, had four really, really big gas tanks behind the cafe building.. There was this little shed that held four long thick hoses, probably 4 or 6 inches thick, with a nozzle at the end. The two Mr Trophs would drive their gas trucks over and fill them up out of these large tanks. It didn't take Moody and I long to discover that these hoses made great swings. We would literally sit on the hoses, 8 or 10 feet in the air and swing, swing, swing. So that became our next favorite smoking spot............OH YES!! IT WAS!!! Looking back, I am sure that there was a band of angels that kept their hands over the two of us.. It is a wonder we didn't blow up the whole town!! I guarantee you, being kids, we were not careful with it either....never gave it a second thought. I have no idea how many times we would sit up on those hoses for hours and smoke, laugh, and swing. I can assure you this, if my dad would have caught us, I probably would not be sitting here writing this story. I am quite sure I would have had the same result if either one of the Mr Trophs would have caught us too.
Our smoking adventures continued for the next few years. When we were at her house we would sneak out to the old outhouse and light one up. Thinking we were hid of course, not realizing again that our smoke was escaping right through the big cracks in the walls.. I remember that Moody's sister caught us one time. She seen the smoke escaping from the cracks and sneaked up on us. We had to beg her and promise that we would NEVER do it again if she would only have mercy on us and not tell her mom and dad....... WE LIED!!! We smoked every time we got the chance. We would ride the bicycles down to the hog pen back in the woods and sit on the fence and blow our smoke...... AWWWWW SWEET SMELL, cigarette smoke and hog manure!!!!!!! Later years when mom and dad didn't have the cafe any longer, we would throw our nickels and dimes together and try to get enough money to buy us a pack. If that wasn't feasible, then we would look around the house and dig 'butts' out of the ashtrays where my dad had smoked previously...YES WE DID!! Now that is pretty dang GROSS!!! And so it went until somewhere along the way it wasn't much fun anymore...I never continued with the habit in my adult years, don't know if she did or not. But we sure had a lot of fun experimenting with it.
I know that some of you are asking,"why in the world would smoking be such a precious memory." I really don't know, other than it was time spent with my best friend. A time when, once again, we were young and carefree, with not a worry in the world (other than getting caught of course.) When life was an adventure, and everything we did was a laugh. Not just a laugh, but a 'laugh till you hurt' kind of laugh. As I reminisce back on it, I can still see us sitting there on our swings, she facing one way, and me the other. That way we had each other's back, just in case someone came around the corner and surprised us. But most of all it was just another summer day when two cousins shared another bond and a promise of 'cross your heart until you die' secret that no one could ever drag from our lips......................................................................................
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Moody and Me- No Ordinary TeePee
I opened the bedroom door to find that my three oldest grand children had taken the quilt and blanket off the bed and had it stretched out over the furniture. I said, "What in the WooRRRlllddd are you guys doing?" they answered, "We are building a fort Mama, come look". I get down on my hands and knees and peek through the small opening. They had all the pillows piled around, their army men and all of their 'weapons' laid out neat and tidy. The oldest one, Alison, says..."We can't get this side to stay closed"........ I smiled. "I'll be right back," I said. I went in the kitchen pulled out a drawer and grabbed a handful of clothes pins.... back to the bedroom and leaned down with a huge smile on my face and said... "I bet these would work"..........."AWESOME" they said, and nostalgia hit me hard......
1 Strong Clothes Line
+5 Quilts/Blankets (or 50 burlap sacks)
+100 Clothes Pins
________
= 1 Fine Tent
I am guessing that we, Moody and I, were about 11 or 12 years old. It was one of the many times that I was visiting with her for a week or so when we came up with the idea of how much fun it would be to 'camp out' in her back yard. You have to remember that this was back before the days of Walmart, Kmart, Target, TOYS R US etc. Back when life was simple, when kids made up their own games, and couldn't just run to a store and buy whatever they wanted....such as a tent. Back when parents never gave a second thought to letting their kids sleep outside on the ground in a home made tent. When kidnapping or child molestation was something you never heard of.
So Moody and I set out to build us a tent. My dear Aunt Bernice supplied us with everything necessary to put it together, even instructing us on how to lap the quilts over the clothesline and pin it together with clothespins. After a few times of it falling down on top of us, we finally perfected the construction of it and we could make it so tight that an ant could not have crawled in. We loved sleeping in our tent and for the next 5 years or so we spent very few 'summer' nights in her house. If we did, it was only because the weather wouldn't let us stay outside. We pretty much made that tent our summer home. It was the very first thing that we would do when I would get to her house. Grab the quilts, and build our tent.... The very last thing that we would do before I went home.....take the tent down and pile the quilts on the back porch.
I am thinking that my aunt might have got very tired of washing these quilts on a wringer washing machine and hanging them out on the clothesline to dry, just so that we could mess them up again in a week or so. Because this one summer she surprised us with the idea of making our own tent out of 'tow sacks'(burlap feed sacks). She took us out to the backyard and showed us how to unravel the chain stitch in order to lay the sacks out flat. We were given two very large darning needles, and a spool of twine thread..... I know that we had to have sewn at least 50 of these babies together.. the result was huge..and it took us all day to finish the project. But when we got done, we had ONE FINE TENT. We had all four walls and the floor in one big piece. We could just throw it over the clothesline and then clothespin up the sides.. A genius of an idea!! (I am quite sure that our Native ancestors would have been quite proud of us!!!) Now when it came time for me to go home, we would just fold the tent up, stuff it down into another tow sack, and hang it on a nail on the back porch... ready and waiting for the next visit.....
We would pile all of our possessions in our tent. Our purses, our barbie dolls, books, pillows, blankets even snack foods. Anything we thought we might need, would be in the tent with us. We would make cabinets and tables out of cardboard boxes... Yep, we had made ONE FINE TENT.
I can not begin to tell you how many times through the years I have reminisced over that tent. Attached to it are some of my most fondest childhood memories....It was our fort...our playhouse...our sanctuary...our summer home. The place where Moody and I would laugh and talk and stay up half of the night with only a flashlight, telling each other our deepest kept secrets. As I sit here writing this I can still smell the burlap sacks that enclosed us. The smell of the damp soybean field just 20 feet or so from where we lay. The grassy smell of the green carpet beneath us. A whiff of motor oil coming from my uncles garage...even the smell of the hogs down in the pasture back in the woods. I remember so distinctly laying there in the middle of the night smelling all of these smells mingled together.
I don't know if I ever told my dear aunt 'thank you' for putting up with me all of those summers as a kid. Don't know if I told her 'thank you' for helping us and showing us how to sew our tent. I hope that I did. I hope that she knew how much it all meant to me...
I can only pray that my grandchildren can make great memories together too, so that some day they too can look back and realize how bitter sweet it all was. Weather it be at their own houses or back yards or even if it is making a fort in Mama's bedroom floor........................Seems like only yesterday it was us... Moody and ME..........................................................
1 Strong Clothes Line
+5 Quilts/Blankets (or 50 burlap sacks)
+100 Clothes Pins
________
= 1 Fine Tent
I am guessing that we, Moody and I, were about 11 or 12 years old. It was one of the many times that I was visiting with her for a week or so when we came up with the idea of how much fun it would be to 'camp out' in her back yard. You have to remember that this was back before the days of Walmart, Kmart, Target, TOYS R US etc. Back when life was simple, when kids made up their own games, and couldn't just run to a store and buy whatever they wanted....such as a tent. Back when parents never gave a second thought to letting their kids sleep outside on the ground in a home made tent. When kidnapping or child molestation was something you never heard of.
So Moody and I set out to build us a tent. My dear Aunt Bernice supplied us with everything necessary to put it together, even instructing us on how to lap the quilts over the clothesline and pin it together with clothespins. After a few times of it falling down on top of us, we finally perfected the construction of it and we could make it so tight that an ant could not have crawled in. We loved sleeping in our tent and for the next 5 years or so we spent very few 'summer' nights in her house. If we did, it was only because the weather wouldn't let us stay outside. We pretty much made that tent our summer home. It was the very first thing that we would do when I would get to her house. Grab the quilts, and build our tent.... The very last thing that we would do before I went home.....take the tent down and pile the quilts on the back porch.
I am thinking that my aunt might have got very tired of washing these quilts on a wringer washing machine and hanging them out on the clothesline to dry, just so that we could mess them up again in a week or so. Because this one summer she surprised us with the idea of making our own tent out of 'tow sacks'(burlap feed sacks). She took us out to the backyard and showed us how to unravel the chain stitch in order to lay the sacks out flat. We were given two very large darning needles, and a spool of twine thread..... I know that we had to have sewn at least 50 of these babies together.. the result was huge..and it took us all day to finish the project. But when we got done, we had ONE FINE TENT. We had all four walls and the floor in one big piece. We could just throw it over the clothesline and then clothespin up the sides.. A genius of an idea!! (I am quite sure that our Native ancestors would have been quite proud of us!!!) Now when it came time for me to go home, we would just fold the tent up, stuff it down into another tow sack, and hang it on a nail on the back porch... ready and waiting for the next visit.....
We would pile all of our possessions in our tent. Our purses, our barbie dolls, books, pillows, blankets even snack foods. Anything we thought we might need, would be in the tent with us. We would make cabinets and tables out of cardboard boxes... Yep, we had made ONE FINE TENT.
I can not begin to tell you how many times through the years I have reminisced over that tent. Attached to it are some of my most fondest childhood memories....It was our fort...our playhouse...our sanctuary...our summer home. The place where Moody and I would laugh and talk and stay up half of the night with only a flashlight, telling each other our deepest kept secrets. As I sit here writing this I can still smell the burlap sacks that enclosed us. The smell of the damp soybean field just 20 feet or so from where we lay. The grassy smell of the green carpet beneath us. A whiff of motor oil coming from my uncles garage...even the smell of the hogs down in the pasture back in the woods. I remember so distinctly laying there in the middle of the night smelling all of these smells mingled together.
I don't know if I ever told my dear aunt 'thank you' for putting up with me all of those summers as a kid. Don't know if I told her 'thank you' for helping us and showing us how to sew our tent. I hope that I did. I hope that she knew how much it all meant to me...
I can only pray that my grandchildren can make great memories together too, so that some day they too can look back and realize how bitter sweet it all was. Weather it be at their own houses or back yards or even if it is making a fort in Mama's bedroom floor........................Seems like only yesterday it was us... Moody and ME..........................................................
Friday, December 24, 2010
Moody and Me- California, Here We Come
I was in my own little 6 year old world, swinging, at my aunt and uncles house, when this chubby little blonde haired girl came up to me and said, "Hey! we are cousins." I had never seen this girl before in my life, that I could remember anyways, so I had to go ask my mom if this was true....with the little blonde following behind me. Sure enough, she was right and we were definitely cousins. She said to me, "My name is Moody, what's yours?" I replied with "Lainie" ( my nickname as a child, hailed from my middle name 'Elaine'.) She grabbed my hand and said "lets go play"......my friend for life!!!!!!
Moody and her family lived in Michigan at the time and had came home to our uncle's funeral, my dads' brother, her.. mothers' brother. I suppose that is why I didn't remember ever seeing her before since she lived so far away. A few weeks after the funeral her family moved back to Missouri and settled in a small town just 10 miles from where I lived, so our families visited quite often and Moody and I became the very best of friends. When we discovered that we were the same age, that just made our friendship stronger. After all she was only 6 weeks older than me. We went to different schools but every time we got a chance we would spend the night with each other. In the summer months we took turns spending weeks. She would come to my house for a week and I would go home with her for a week. This went on for the next 10 to 12 years.
There are several stories that involved the two of us that I plan on sharing......she was so very much a part of my childhood... We shared many many laughs together. When you are a kid seems like everything you say or do is funny. We don't get to see each other very often anymore, mostly at funerals .... I hope that she remembers those days together as fondly as I do....for they will always be in my heart. So come ride along with us as Moody and me journey to California!!!................
CALIFORNIA HERE WE COME
Moody had moved to a small farm outside of Advance. I loved going to her house..There was so many fun things to do there. I lived in town and so going to the farm was a real treat for me. She lived in a big old two story house and we would play upstairs for hours. She and her sister had bicycles,which I didn't have at home and although I didn't know how to ride one at first, (That will be another story) I finally did learn. She had real Barbie dolls, and a little toy piano, the best climbing tree in the whole world. Then there were the cars.....
Her dad was an auto mechanic and had lots of old cars parked everywhere.. I guess they had been wrecked or just needed repaired. Some of them he just used as 'parts'. So on the times when I got to go to her house for a few days we would plan our trip to California...She would grab a favorite doll or two and so would I, we would pack a little overnight case filled with our babies clothes and anything else we thought we might need on our trip and go out to the 'car lot' and pick out our favorite car. Sometimes we would drive separate cars, but most of the time we would ride together, and take turns driving. Our husbands would be with us of course, and this would be whoever we might have a crush on at the time. Subject to change at any given moment.
As I sit behind that stirring wheel and 'drive' us, we pretend that we see all sorts of things. We cross over the mountains and over long bridges, sometimes we change our minds mid trip and decide to go to New york, or drive to Hawaii or maybe England. We are in the middle of a storm so we have to turn the wipers on. We honk the horn ( which doesn't work) to just say 'Hi' to someone we pass, or to tell someone to get out of our way......Sometimes we would stop at a 'store' or 'restaurant' and have to go in and get a snack or something cold to drink.. we never tarried long, we would always be in a big hurry to get back on the road. We would see the sights of the whole world through the dirty, dust covered, broken windshields........there were times when my uncle would sell one of our favorites, and we would be sad as we would stand and watch someone hook on to it and pull it off. But we would just look around and pick out another one that we liked.
Yes, we traveled at least a million miles during those summer months, never leaving her back yard...For a couple years, that was our favorite thing to do, from daylight to dark, was ride and drive those old cars, to nowhere, and everywhere....
I have thought about those old cars often in my adult life and the fun that we had as kids. In our own innocent world, believing that we owned it. Young and carefree, pretending that we were all grown up and all the while not realizing that at the time we were making precious memories that we would be thinking about 50 years later.....
I never made it to California for real...don't know if she did or not...I hope so...Maybe I should put that on my bucket list...when I get around to making one. We never know what tomorrow brings, maybe someday......but I think I will fly when I do go..just so I don't get side tracked and end up in England or somewhere else...................................
Moody and her family lived in Michigan at the time and had came home to our uncle's funeral, my dads' brother, her.. mothers' brother. I suppose that is why I didn't remember ever seeing her before since she lived so far away. A few weeks after the funeral her family moved back to Missouri and settled in a small town just 10 miles from where I lived, so our families visited quite often and Moody and I became the very best of friends. When we discovered that we were the same age, that just made our friendship stronger. After all she was only 6 weeks older than me. We went to different schools but every time we got a chance we would spend the night with each other. In the summer months we took turns spending weeks. She would come to my house for a week and I would go home with her for a week. This went on for the next 10 to 12 years.
There are several stories that involved the two of us that I plan on sharing......she was so very much a part of my childhood... We shared many many laughs together. When you are a kid seems like everything you say or do is funny. We don't get to see each other very often anymore, mostly at funerals .... I hope that she remembers those days together as fondly as I do....for they will always be in my heart. So come ride along with us as Moody and me journey to California!!!................
CALIFORNIA HERE WE COME
Moody had moved to a small farm outside of Advance. I loved going to her house..There was so many fun things to do there. I lived in town and so going to the farm was a real treat for me. She lived in a big old two story house and we would play upstairs for hours. She and her sister had bicycles,which I didn't have at home and although I didn't know how to ride one at first, (That will be another story) I finally did learn. She had real Barbie dolls, and a little toy piano, the best climbing tree in the whole world. Then there were the cars.....
Her dad was an auto mechanic and had lots of old cars parked everywhere.. I guess they had been wrecked or just needed repaired. Some of them he just used as 'parts'. So on the times when I got to go to her house for a few days we would plan our trip to California...She would grab a favorite doll or two and so would I, we would pack a little overnight case filled with our babies clothes and anything else we thought we might need on our trip and go out to the 'car lot' and pick out our favorite car. Sometimes we would drive separate cars, but most of the time we would ride together, and take turns driving. Our husbands would be with us of course, and this would be whoever we might have a crush on at the time. Subject to change at any given moment.
As I sit behind that stirring wheel and 'drive' us, we pretend that we see all sorts of things. We cross over the mountains and over long bridges, sometimes we change our minds mid trip and decide to go to New york, or drive to Hawaii or maybe England. We are in the middle of a storm so we have to turn the wipers on. We honk the horn ( which doesn't work) to just say 'Hi' to someone we pass, or to tell someone to get out of our way......Sometimes we would stop at a 'store' or 'restaurant' and have to go in and get a snack or something cold to drink.. we never tarried long, we would always be in a big hurry to get back on the road. We would see the sights of the whole world through the dirty, dust covered, broken windshields........there were times when my uncle would sell one of our favorites, and we would be sad as we would stand and watch someone hook on to it and pull it off. But we would just look around and pick out another one that we liked.
Yes, we traveled at least a million miles during those summer months, never leaving her back yard...For a couple years, that was our favorite thing to do, from daylight to dark, was ride and drive those old cars, to nowhere, and everywhere....
I have thought about those old cars often in my adult life and the fun that we had as kids. In our own innocent world, believing that we owned it. Young and carefree, pretending that we were all grown up and all the while not realizing that at the time we were making precious memories that we would be thinking about 50 years later.....
I never made it to California for real...don't know if she did or not...I hope so...Maybe I should put that on my bucket list...when I get around to making one. We never know what tomorrow brings, maybe someday......but I think I will fly when I do go..just so I don't get side tracked and end up in England or somewhere else...................................
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
My Dad..........March 2, 1911 - Dec.5th, 1974
December 7th, 2010
Today has been a sad day for me, as this calendar day has been for the last 36 years. Dec.7th, not only is it Pearl Harbor Day, but it marks the day that my dad was laid to rest, in a very small cemetery, on top of a hill, in the town where I grew up in. Near the place where he was born and raised his family. Seems impossible that it has been that long ago.
I was almost 21 years old. I had been married for nearly 3 years, and had a 10 month old baby girl. My life absolutely revolved around my husband and daughter. When looking back, I can't help but think how young and naive I truly was, and so very selfish. I did not realize the finality of death. That when one takes that last breath, it is over, the end of life as we know it, gone. I have so often wished that I had been older and more mature, before he passed from us. I wished that I had talked to him. I mean really talked to him. I wish that I would have known his thoughts and wishes. Where he was 'coming from'. I wish I had asked him more about his life as a young man. I wish that I had realized that mom needed help in caring for him. Many wishes, many thoughts, many regrets.
I always said that Raymond Finney was ONE STRANGE BIRD. Don says that "'he was what he was." But truthfully, he had some very strange ways. For instance, he thought boys and girls lived by two totally separate set of rules. There are 5 of us kids. 3 girls and 2 boys. The boys were just expected to drink, smoke, cuss, and stay out late (after they got older of course.) I have heard him say more than once that, "boys will be boys." For us girls, it was a whole different story. I have to say that I had it better than my two older sisters, even though he still had some strict rules, lucky for me, times changed and so did he. He had a dress code that the older girls lived by, and wearing shorts was NOT in it. So playing sports in school was not an option for them. Fifteen years later when I was in high school he had mellowed out some and I got to play volleyball, and I wore shorts. You could forget about being a cheerleader. His thought was "you are NOT going to get out there and turn flips for those boys and show your underwear." Period.
He did not attend any of our weddings. He said that he had only been to one wedding in his life and that is all he intended on going to. When Don and I got married, he chose to sit over on the "liars bench" in front of the cafe/pool hall until the wedding was over . He did however come in time to share the wedding cake with us, and enjoyed being with all of the people. Again, One Strange Bird!!
He had many other ways and thoughts that at the time I just took for granted, but as an adult, I indeed think they were strange.
I can only speak for myself here....
I was almost like an only child. There are 8 years between me and my brother closest to me in age, so by the time I got to be 10 or 12 years old, the other 4 were married and having kids of their own. So a lot of time was spent with just dad, mom, and me in the house. The sad part of that is that I feel like I never really knew him. To me he was an authoritative figure, that simply ruled the house, and I do mean ruled. Always telling me "you are not going there" or "you are not doing that" or "you are not running around with that girl" "you are not going out with that boy" etc. We never really had any conversations at all, and I remember thinking that my life would be so much better if he wasn't in it. Again, so young, naive, and selfish I was.
I have often thought about Reba McEntyre's song, "The Greatest Man I Never New". Some of the song fits so perfectly with the way I felt during those young days. I always new that dad loved us kids, even though he never said the words, at least not to me. There were never any "I love you's", kisses, or hugs from him. He just didn't know how to show any affection or emotion. Although as I said previously, I knew that he did. Maybe this is why I always tell my girls that I love them when I am leaving them or hanging up the phone from talking with them... I want them to KNOW that I love them. I never want them to doubt it or question it.
The letters...........
I suppose work was hard to find in the days before I was born, and afterward, because sometimes during the winter months dad would go to my uncle's houses in New York, or Florida, and work and send the money back home to mom. It was his way of keeping food on the table and trying to provide for us..... After my mom passed away I was going through an old suitcase filled with some old memorabilia of their lives together and I found some old letters that dad had written to her while on these work trips. Which shocked me to the core. First of all, I really didn't think dad could read or write much, other than to write his name. He always had mom do that kind of stuff. I was mystified to see he could actually write pretty intelligently.
As I held these letters in my hand and read the words for the first time in my life, tears flowed down my cheeks. It was so sad that 30 plus years after he was dead and gone, I saw a glimpse of a man I never knew existed. He spoke of how much he missed mom and us kids. He would say things like "Now you have the boys help you get the wood in"...at one point I guess one of my sisters was gone with someone for a few days because one letter said something like..."I want Gerry home as soon as possible, I don't like her being away from home, " With the later letters he would always end it by saying.."Give that little ole baby girl a kiss for me"...Which meant me....As I sat there reading these letters I literally saw a side of him that I had never seen in the 21 years that I knew him, and it tore me up inside. I will cherish those letters until the day I am laid to rest.
Dad found out he had lung cancer on Sept 5th, 1974. He lived exactly 4 months to the day from when he found out. After he got sick, he became a Christian, and got baptized. He laid on his death bed with his arms straight up in the air. Praying. He told someone that he wasn't afraid to die, he knew he was going to a better place. The only thing that bothered him was that he didn't want to leave his kids and grand kids in this world, the way that it was. Wonder what he would think if he could see it now!!
So, this is the story. I know that it may seem like a sad story to some, and maybe it is. I harbor no ill feelings toward him at all, for as Don said "He was what he was". I know that he loved us, he just wasn't good with words. Sometimes, I find myself in that same situation. I am just not good with words, but I love deeply and wholeheartedly. I look forward to someday being able to sit down with him and 'really' talk to him. There is so much I want to say and so many questions I want to ask... Until then, every once in a while, I will dig out the old letters and read the scribbled words, and ponder the bitter sweetness of knowing that even
even though he never spoke the words out loud to us, that down deep in his heart... He loved us all......................
Today has been a sad day for me, as this calendar day has been for the last 36 years. Dec.7th, not only is it Pearl Harbor Day, but it marks the day that my dad was laid to rest, in a very small cemetery, on top of a hill, in the town where I grew up in. Near the place where he was born and raised his family. Seems impossible that it has been that long ago.
I was almost 21 years old. I had been married for nearly 3 years, and had a 10 month old baby girl. My life absolutely revolved around my husband and daughter. When looking back, I can't help but think how young and naive I truly was, and so very selfish. I did not realize the finality of death. That when one takes that last breath, it is over, the end of life as we know it, gone. I have so often wished that I had been older and more mature, before he passed from us. I wished that I had talked to him. I mean really talked to him. I wish that I would have known his thoughts and wishes. Where he was 'coming from'. I wish I had asked him more about his life as a young man. I wish that I had realized that mom needed help in caring for him. Many wishes, many thoughts, many regrets.
I always said that Raymond Finney was ONE STRANGE BIRD. Don says that "'he was what he was." But truthfully, he had some very strange ways. For instance, he thought boys and girls lived by two totally separate set of rules. There are 5 of us kids. 3 girls and 2 boys. The boys were just expected to drink, smoke, cuss, and stay out late (after they got older of course.) I have heard him say more than once that, "boys will be boys." For us girls, it was a whole different story. I have to say that I had it better than my two older sisters, even though he still had some strict rules, lucky for me, times changed and so did he. He had a dress code that the older girls lived by, and wearing shorts was NOT in it. So playing sports in school was not an option for them. Fifteen years later when I was in high school he had mellowed out some and I got to play volleyball, and I wore shorts. You could forget about being a cheerleader. His thought was "you are NOT going to get out there and turn flips for those boys and show your underwear." Period.
He did not attend any of our weddings. He said that he had only been to one wedding in his life and that is all he intended on going to. When Don and I got married, he chose to sit over on the "liars bench" in front of the cafe/pool hall until the wedding was over . He did however come in time to share the wedding cake with us, and enjoyed being with all of the people. Again, One Strange Bird!!
He had many other ways and thoughts that at the time I just took for granted, but as an adult, I indeed think they were strange.
I can only speak for myself here....
I was almost like an only child. There are 8 years between me and my brother closest to me in age, so by the time I got to be 10 or 12 years old, the other 4 were married and having kids of their own. So a lot of time was spent with just dad, mom, and me in the house. The sad part of that is that I feel like I never really knew him. To me he was an authoritative figure, that simply ruled the house, and I do mean ruled. Always telling me "you are not going there" or "you are not doing that" or "you are not running around with that girl" "you are not going out with that boy" etc. We never really had any conversations at all, and I remember thinking that my life would be so much better if he wasn't in it. Again, so young, naive, and selfish I was.
I have often thought about Reba McEntyre's song, "The Greatest Man I Never New". Some of the song fits so perfectly with the way I felt during those young days. I always new that dad loved us kids, even though he never said the words, at least not to me. There were never any "I love you's", kisses, or hugs from him. He just didn't know how to show any affection or emotion. Although as I said previously, I knew that he did. Maybe this is why I always tell my girls that I love them when I am leaving them or hanging up the phone from talking with them... I want them to KNOW that I love them. I never want them to doubt it or question it.
The letters...........
I suppose work was hard to find in the days before I was born, and afterward, because sometimes during the winter months dad would go to my uncle's houses in New York, or Florida, and work and send the money back home to mom. It was his way of keeping food on the table and trying to provide for us..... After my mom passed away I was going through an old suitcase filled with some old memorabilia of their lives together and I found some old letters that dad had written to her while on these work trips. Which shocked me to the core. First of all, I really didn't think dad could read or write much, other than to write his name. He always had mom do that kind of stuff. I was mystified to see he could actually write pretty intelligently.
As I held these letters in my hand and read the words for the first time in my life, tears flowed down my cheeks. It was so sad that 30 plus years after he was dead and gone, I saw a glimpse of a man I never knew existed. He spoke of how much he missed mom and us kids. He would say things like "Now you have the boys help you get the wood in"...at one point I guess one of my sisters was gone with someone for a few days because one letter said something like..."I want Gerry home as soon as possible, I don't like her being away from home, " With the later letters he would always end it by saying.."Give that little ole baby girl a kiss for me"...Which meant me....As I sat there reading these letters I literally saw a side of him that I had never seen in the 21 years that I knew him, and it tore me up inside. I will cherish those letters until the day I am laid to rest.
Dad found out he had lung cancer on Sept 5th, 1974. He lived exactly 4 months to the day from when he found out. After he got sick, he became a Christian, and got baptized. He laid on his death bed with his arms straight up in the air. Praying. He told someone that he wasn't afraid to die, he knew he was going to a better place. The only thing that bothered him was that he didn't want to leave his kids and grand kids in this world, the way that it was. Wonder what he would think if he could see it now!!
So, this is the story. I know that it may seem like a sad story to some, and maybe it is. I harbor no ill feelings toward him at all, for as Don said "He was what he was". I know that he loved us, he just wasn't good with words. Sometimes, I find myself in that same situation. I am just not good with words, but I love deeply and wholeheartedly. I look forward to someday being able to sit down with him and 'really' talk to him. There is so much I want to say and so many questions I want to ask... Until then, every once in a while, I will dig out the old letters and read the scribbled words, and ponder the bitter sweetness of knowing that even
even though he never spoke the words out loud to us, that down deep in his heart... He loved us all......................
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